!

OHMYGOD!

I just realized I've been going at project life all wrong.

I've always thought it was like an Arthur Miller play.

Yesterday I realized it isn't at ALL!

It's a Rogers and Hammerstein!

CRAPcrapcrapcrapcrap. (I hate musicals)

Try not to kill anyone....

Go forth. Be with your families. Paste on the smile. Take a caffeine pill to dull the hunger and a Valium to take the edge off the effects of the caffeine pill. Remember they are just people.

And above all else, try not to kill anyone.

Happy Thanksgiving.

See that pretty girl in the mirror there....

I'll never be tall. I'm five foot nothing.
I'll never be nice. I'm a snarky, judgmental, beastie most of the time.
I'll never be barbie. Is there a mean, nasty, dark barbie? There should be.
I'll always be strong. I'm not one of those willowy short people. I'm round even when thin. I'd be a round anorexic.
I'll always have those tattoos... because .... they are TATTOOS. And I plan more. Oh yes. More.

But there is a desperate part of me that wants to be tall with a boyish figure without scars and markings. Able to wear yoga pants and walk through the Mall tall and proud into any store. I wish sometimes I was softer. softer. softer.

AND THEN..... not so much.

Beauty in the Breakdown?

Does a breakdown
really lead to a breakthrough?

Somehow, I think it only leads to a bottle of pills
and the mental institution.

I'm on my way.